Family Life Integration vs Priorities

This morning I attended a fund raising breakfast for a non-profit called Family Promise. They have a admirable mission - to support and help families who are homeless. I pondered on the demands on me - and each of us - and how to prioritize. At my table was a friend who serves with me in my church. His solution to the prioritizing dilemma is integration. In his church responsibilities he involves his children to the extent that he can. Why? Not just so they can learn skills and learn life's lesson of service, but also so that my friend can meet both his family and church demands without guilt or significant sacrifice.

So if we look at all the demands and opportunities to contribute in society, or even where we spend out time in such pursuits as hobbies, we don't have to judge them simply by priorities, but we can choose those where we can participate integrated with our family. We may have to adjust, but the benefits of being together as a family are worth it. For example, I enjoy cycling, running, and swimming for exercise. I could involve my teenage boys and encourage them to train with me, even if it means adjusting my schedule or workout.

Which is more important - that I get a good time on my next triathlon, or that my children experience time with their father and know that I love and care for them more than a triathlon? Why does this even matter? Perhaps I have an obligation to raise my children to be successful adults and parents. Perhaps in the "raising" process, there will come critical times where they need me (whether they know it or not) and I not only need to be there, but need to have a pattern of being there for them. Then, as a father, I can bless me children in the difficult times as well as the routine times.

Foreward

As I step into the ether of the internet and open my soul to the universe I have no pretense that others will find my ponderings unique or profound - but likely common. My purpose is first, the "therapy" it offers me to express myself in written word, second, the hope that my commonness and insights into an ordinary life may inspire others who, like me, are trying to be a bit more uncommon.

Whether in my role as a father and husband, as a follower of Christ, as a fellow-citizen and neighbor, or in my career, I am hoping to better find my way, balance my efforts, and make a difference. The difference I seek is not to leave a legacy or discover power or prestige, but to simply leave this place a little better than I found it, to make life a bit more joyful for those whom with I walk my daily walk.

My motive is simple. God has blessed and watched over me and given me all that I have. The gratitude that I feel has planted a yearning and love of God and my fellowmen. This love of God and fellowmen is manifest in how I treat others - or not.

My simple prayer is that I may be the answer to others' prayers, that I may have the courage and faith to act, and knowledge when and how to act. The opportunities are endless, yet they are fleeting.

Perhaps the greatest challenge in pursuing these opportunities is to determine or prioritize when and how to act. I recognize, for example, in my volunteer work with refugees, that there is much to do and circumstances are often bleak and even hopeless. However, my motto is: "I can't do it all, but I can do something." With this perspective I am not paralyzed with inaction, yet not overwhelmed because I may not appear to be making a difference.

I also know that focus on pursuits, no matter how noble they may be, that draw me away from my primary responsibilities as a father and husband, are undertakings that may sacrifice my family for a lesser good. Should I prioritize or can I integrate? And so goes the dilemma...