Circumstantial Gratitude

They say that with age and experience comes wisdom.  For me what comes are deeper emotions, more frequent feelings, and a few more spontaneous tears.  Perhaps it comes from a realization that all I have and am comes from a merciful and generous God.

As I sit here this evening, hundreds of miles away my daughter is giving birth to my 5th grandchild.  I anxiously await the phone call to hear "mother and baby are well".  This waiting causes the deepest and strongest of emotions to boil over.  Gratitude is what rises to the top.

I am certainly grateful as I count my blessings - which include my family.  But there is an indescribable sense of gratitude what washes over one when he recognizes that both the good and the bad, the bitter and the sweet, the cold and the warmth, the pain and the joy, which are all part of our existence, are blessing from a loving God.  As President Dieter F. Uchtdorf recently said,

We can choose to be grateful, no matter what.

This type of gratitude transcends whatever is happening around us. It surpasses disappointment, discouragement, and despair. It blooms just as beautifully in the icy landscape of winter as it does in the pleasant warmth of summer.

When we are grateful to God in our circumstances, we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation. In grief, we can still lift up our hearts in praise. In pain, we can glory in Christ’s Atonement. In the cold of bitter sorrow, we can experience the closeness and warmth of heaven’s embrace.

 Though my current feelings are not described as grief, discouragement, or despair, I, like every other human being, have experienced these over the years.  And my gratitude has emerged as these trials have ended.  Yet my real challenge is to maintain an attitude of gratitude that can withstand the onslaught of the future bitter pills that surely must come.

So in my current state of circumstantial gratitude where I await the birth of a beautiful grand-daughter, may I savor the sweetness of the hour with a thankful heart, and may I likewise commit to savor, with god-like perspective, my future - come what may.

Grandpa-Fish

Being a grandpa is AWESOME!  There is something unique about how a grandchild can melt your heart and how a grandpa can make a grandchild scream with joy.  This past weekend I experienced both.

Jerrea' and I met our daughters in St.George this past weekend to spend some time together.  My highlight was going swimming at the condo pool.  Jackson (4) and Hattie (3) plunged into the one foot deep water on the kiddie end of the pool (Hattie actually just plunged her feet, at first.).  Soon I was doing the "grandpa" thing - pretending to be a shark or whale.  Soon Jackson said:  "Hey Grandpa, you are a Grandpa-Fish.  Hattie watch out for the Grandpa-fish, he will get you!"  Of course, part of the fun was to let Grandpa-Fish actually catch you and gobble you up.  We exhausted ourselves in the simple joy of playing the Grandpa-Fish game - grandpa and his two grandkids.

Memories created with those you care about can be the sunshine in a rainy day, the warmth of a hug when you feel lonely, and the meaning you seek in a seemingly pointless existence.  Both creating the memory, and reliving the memory can provide a renewable source of happiness.

We are all busy.  We have our agendas.  We really don't want to be troubled or stretched outside our comfort zone.  But we will at times receive whispering impressions like:  "Paul, you should really put down your book and get your swimsuit on and go swim with the grandkids."  There are precious rewards for following these whisperings.

Though grandpa-hood is great, you can be the Daddy-Fish, Uncle-Fish, Big Brother-Fish, or Whoever-Fish that someone else needs.  Make a smile, make a memory.

Modern Day Superwoman

As I reflected on a Facebook post to my sister, Cathy Chamberlain Gilmore, wishing her a happy birthday, I caught myself being awestruck by the great woman she has become.  Even a modern day Superwoman.

In honoring my sister I don't cast any dishonor on her husband Ed.  As partners they have created a wonderful family and because of Ed's dedication to his wife and family Cathy has been able to blossom into who she is.

I don't think a week goes by in the Gilmore household when the oven is not producing the aroma of baked goodness.  Though Cathy occasionally will sell her coveted cakes, I have noted that she shares her tasty cakes, pies, breads with her family, friends and neighbors.  Moving into Cathy's neighborhood, I imagine, one would feel they have arrived in bakers heaven.

Cathy is strong - in spirit, in physical capacity, and emotionally.  I have seen her work, I have seen her run.  Her spiritual keenness is evident as she constantly seeks to help, give aid, and comfort others - at trait she inherited from our maternal Grandmother, Dorothy Clark.  In the tribulations of everyday life her emotional toughness enables her to mother her four happy and beautiful daughters.
If you have met Cathy and Ed's daughters you will note that they are always happy, friendly and smiling.  What great legacy of attributes to leave with your children.  Though I should credit Ed for their sensor of humor.

Of particular note is the happy demeanor and exploding smile that you will find on their daughter, Jane.  No doubt Cathy's motherly love and care are combined with Jane's innate goodness and happiness that plant this permanent grin on this beautiful special girl.  It is evidence of how motherly care can inscribe traits and characteristics on the souls of children.  Cathy is writing a great history through the lives of her own children.

Speaking of writing, Cathy is accomplished at knowing how words should flow on paper.  She is a capable writer and capable of fixing other's writings, including my own.  This, coupled with her self-taught design skills has made in her a very creative marketing professional.  She uses these skills to work to provide additional means to support the needs of a young growing family.

How she does it all I can't fathom.  But what I think makes Cathy a modern day Superwoman is that she doesn't know she is.  She readily acknowledges her own weakness.  And though I don't know the inner chambers of her heart, I would guess there are times she despairs, like many of us, for not living up to some unrealistic, imaginary, perfect model of a person she strives to be. That type of humility is that I think she possesses - when it doesn't dwell on despair, but causes us to rely on God to pick us up and help us be just a bit better the next day.

To my Superwoman sister, thanks for your example, for your service in behalf of all of us, particularly for the delectable treats you always share with us, and for kindly reminding us through example and word what is most important in life.  Happy Birthday.

Why Does God Not Heal Everyone?

Today I attended the funeral of Tammy Parry.  Her husband Mark worked for me for several years.  Over those year I had an opportunity to meet and be with Tammy several times.  Each time I was touched by her kindness, sweet spirit, intriguing and genuine interest, and happy, positive demeanor.  I was equally touched by Mark's tenderness toward Tammy as he gently and patiently cared for her.

We attend funerals for many reasons: to remember and honor a loved one, to express love and support a friend or family member, because we feel obligated, and sometimes we are drawn there.  We can leave a funeral with a broad range of feelings ranging from deep sadness, regret, gratitude, perspective, love, awe, and sometimes a whole new outlook on life.  Today I have a whole new outlook on life!

After giving birth to her first and only child, Josh, in her early twenties, Tammy was left with a body racked with a range of ailments of which I still don't fully know and still can't comprehend, but which included near blindness, deteriorating physical weakness, and seizures. At the onset of this sudden illness the Lord and Tammy had the choice to continue on in her severely limited state or to return home to God.  To the blessing of so many they chose to endure.  And thus continued 33 more years of what I will call the life of an Angel.

Oh Jesus I have read of all thy miracles performed.
Healing the lame, raising the dead, causing the blind to see.
If Thou who created heaven and earth can even calm the storm.
Oh why not Lord heal me, oh Lord, why not me?

Though Tammy may have never asked this question, so many of us cry out a questioning plea of "why me?"  Or, "if you can perform miracles, oh why not me?"

I learned today the those with seemingly less can often do so much more than us who appear to have it all.  Tammy did more with less than I in as many years, even in all of my abundance.  I learned today that God may not heal a body so that he can save a soul - even many souls.  I learned that God loves us enough to give us weakness so we can be strong through Christ's Atonement.  I learned that a physically feeble and weak mother can raise the strongest son.  I realize that some of God's choicest and strongest spirits are housed in the weakest of bodies.  I have witnessed how any who will allow it, can be changed for the better by knowing someone like Tammy Parry.

I know just as in the days of Jesus that God allows people like Tammy to suffer and endure so "that the works of God should be manifest."  Isn't it amazing that as Tammy suffered and endured she was made more like God and that those who served her and whom were served by her also gained God-like attributes.  Isn't that really what God's "work and glory" are; to bring us home changed so we can live His life forever?

Thanks be to God, who in his wisdom allows weakness of some form to exist in all of us, that in our weakness we can turn to Him for His grace and mercy.  And though many of us may never be healed of our weakness in this life, through the process of enduring and striving to overcome, we become like Him.  And ironically we are often even carried along on the coattails of even the weakest.  Such was the case with Tammy Parry.

Thank you God and thank you Tammy for choosing to stay and endure 33 years.  Though you were not blessed with the miracle of a physical healing we were all blessed with the miracle of your life.  How you have blessed us - even me - who only had the pleasure of your company a handful of times and was most privileged to attend your inspiring funeral!

Inights into a Teenager

Every wonder how you can get into the head of your teenager? Do you want to know what your teenager values most? Just spend a few moments in their bedroom sitting on their bed an look around. What you see is what they are.

Last night I went to check on my two boys to make sure they were asleep and not up late playing or talking. They were asleep. Entering one of their rooms, I had a very poignant experience. His room was surprisingly clean and orderly. But what caught my attention in a new and different way was what he had on his walls and shelves.

I must preface my remarks by saying that my son loves to collect things, as you will shortly see.

Almost alone, on one wall was a painting my older brother, Clark, an artist, had done of Martin Luther King Jr., a symbol to my African-American son of the blessings he enjoys in today's America.

There is a poster of all of the boys scout merit badges. He is very close to getting his eagle scout award.

Almost one full shelf is dedicated to pictures and memorabilia associated with the late prophet, President Gordon B. Hinckley. My son loved that prophet. Pinned to the wall is a "testimony" that he wrote about President Hinckley when he died last year. He was the prophet of his youth. Next to these are several small pictures of Jesus in different settings.

Pinned to the wall is what you expect to find in a typical boys bedroom: a poster of a fancy sports cars. He loves sports cars and has a dream to own one some day (he wishes his father would break down and buy one).

On one shelf sits a large caricature of him that he had done recently while on a family vacation in California. He has a fairly high self image.

Scattered throughout the room are various forms of artwork he has done over the years. None are Picasso's, but they are his own work. You will also find scattered a few ribbons, medals and trophies for participation in swimming, wrestling, cross country, soccer, as well as awards for science fair competition.

There are collections of Nutcrackers, mementos from family vacations, books and magazines about government, history, and politics (including a few magazines, articles and calendars about President Obama).

It is obvious he is a Utah fan (probably because I am).

A photo of him and his brother is tucked into the corner of his bulletin board.

Near his door, pinned to the wall, is a school report he did a few years ago about his great grandmother, Virginia Chamberlain. She recently passed away and he misses her.

Want to learn a lot about your teenager? Just spend a few moments in his or her bedroom and soak it all in. As time moves on he will change and so will some of his values, and so will go the room decor...

My Grandma Ginny

Virginia Tanner Chamberlain, was an extraordinary woman, who lived a seemingly ordinary life. Ordinary to most, but not to her family. Widowed at age 44, just a few months before my birth, she finally is reunited with Grandpa Arch.

Though she was a widow for over half of her life she was never lonely. Her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren wrapped their love around her for over 45 years as we visited her each Sunday. These visits became such a ritual and tradition that Sunday evenings seem unfamiliar these days. Few have the privilege to be blessed with a close relationship with a grandmother and great grandmother as we have had. Such a rare blessing.

Yet as I reflect on the flood of memories, I consider the greatest legacy Grandma Ginny left me: family is everything. From family can only true joy and happiness come. She was a happy, witty, and energetic woman, yet her happiness did not come from a spacious home, a nice car, nor exotic vacations - for she had none of these. It all came from family. And the beauty of it is that it cost nothing - to her nor to us. The greatest blessing and satisfaction in life is actual free - it is actual right around us - our family.

So, Grandma, as I seek for true happiness in life, I promise to follow your legacy and seek it in those God has chosen to be my family. I will carry on your legacy and never let the world get in the way of family. I will fight for the blessing to be with parents, children, cousins, aunts, uncles and future grandchildren. Thank you for the joys and memories that I have experienced these past 45 plus years, and for the legacy of family that I will pass on to future generations.

Back in 2002 I wrote a song in honor of Grandma. I now have added a final verse:

Where We Belong

For generations to this home we're drawn

Led by spirits long past

Finding warmth of friendships that last

This place is where we belong

We've worked and played on this blanket of lawn

Explored every inch of the yard

Our imaginations carried us far

In this home where we belong

New faces come, time passes along

But constant is the place

Where families gather and celebrate

At Grandma’s, where we belong

What lures us here to this simple home

Where love and kinship abide?

Her heart speaks the reason why

With Grandma is where we belong

She’s journeyed on, to a place so longed

Where loved ones she now greets

A celebration, joyous and sweet

Grandma’s now, where she belongs

We now long for a heav’nly home

The place where she now abides

Once again we’ll be by her side

With Grandma, where we belong

Once again we’ll be by her side

With Grandma, where we belong

For more pictures of Grandma Ginny see: http://picasaweb.google.com/pachamberlain01

Coming to Know Christ

Coming to know our Savior Jesus Christ is the quest of a lifetime for any Christian. But why and how do I come to know Jesus?

Many places in the scriptures we are commanded to "come unto me", "be ye therefore perfect, even as I am", "What manner of men ought ye to be? Even as I am." The Lord also invites us to take His yoke upon us and "learn of me". He also taught us (paraphrasing) "This is life eternal, to know the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom he has sent". If Jesus is the great Exemplar, then we must know him, understand him, so we can truly follow him. Our quest to be like him is truly a quest for life eternal (his life).

The "why" is therefore, that our exaltation is dependent on knowing the Savior, then emulating him in our lives.

Knowledge can come to us in many forms: studying God's word in the scriptures and from his prophets, revelation of knowledge to our mind through the Holy Spirit, and revelation and confirmation to our hearts of his attributes also through the Holy Spirit as we "experience" life. Certainly, we can and should gain knowledge of the Savior through study and prayer. However, I have reflected on the more impactful and meaningful way of coming to know Jesus: by experience.

Three areas come to mind, all of which are accompanied by the Spirit which leaves with us an unforgettable impression and deep abiding knowledge. The first is obedience to His laws and commandments. John teaches us that: "If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine." Abundant blessings in many forms come to us as we demonstrate our faith through obedience. Through this process we feel the Saviors love and desire to bless us.

The second way we come to know Christ by experience is through an uninvited trial, test, or challenge. They can come in many forms, but if we allow them, they can teach us of His deep love and mercy that flows to us through the Atonement. In my own personal life I have come to understand that Jesus is patient, quick to forgive, full of love and mercy. I may have read similar words in scripture, but the words mean little compared to the experience of how the Savior has treated me in my trials. At the end of Matthew chapter 11 is described this process. When we are heavy laden and come unto Christ, we truly then will "learn of [him]" and learn that he is meek and lowly.

Finally, the third way is through His service. As we begin to study and learn of Jesus and develop faith in Him, we plant a seed of faith as we attempt to emulate His life of service. As we do, the seed grows and we reap the harvest of service in feeling His love (charity), then want to reflect that charity even more in our lives. The process feeds on itself.

The area of coming to know Christ through service is one that is completely in our control. If our motives are more out of love, then sense of duty, or even to be seen of men, then the harvest is much more plentiful. However, in my life I find that, though I may have righteous motives and desires, too many distractions keep me from His service. I fill my daily glass with worldly water, and leave little room for "living water". Though there are many "necessary" worldly pursuits (like a career), there are also many worldly demands that Satan puts before us that merely keep us busy so we have no time for Jesus.

The service we give can be in a multitude of forms - just learn what Jesus did, and follow Him.

In addition to worldly distractions, there is another barrier I have found that keeps me from a special type of service. The service is sharing the good news of the gospel to my fellow man. The barrier is fear. In my previous full-time missionary service, I truly came to know Christ better as he was on my "right hand and on my left" and as the Holy Ghost was my constant companion. Can we just leave those fears behind and reap the blessings of share the gospel of Jesus Christ to others? Blessing flow to both the messenger and the hearer.

Though I can learn of Christ through study and prayer, I can understand him better by exercising faith sufficient to make His service a priority in life. Then I can hope to know Him more, love Him more, and begin to become like Him. May we pray to the Father that we can be filled with His love that he bestows "upon all who are true followers of His Son, Christ...that when He shall appear we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as He is pure." (Moroni 7:48)